A prayer answered to a world in need.
I have been very carefully trying to figure out how to say and write this. With so many memories and emotions to share with you all, I have to say this post I write with the most sincerest and heartfelt words.
When I first was asked to go to San Pedro Sula, Honduras I was full forced ready and excited to go. I had been on many mission trips, but never an international trip, one where you actually had to ride on an airplane. This trip came with many firsts. As we planned and began talking about what we were going to do there, I began to get nervous. I was the only person from my church going, I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me. I am very quiet but observant person, if I do not know you. Every time we would go to our monthly trip meeting they all seemed nice but still I didn't know them I was going to spend a week with complete strangers in a strange foreign land, what was I getting myself into. I quickly let my negative thoughts take over, "you are not going to have fun, you're going to be alone the whole time, just stay home". Although, I seemed so excited to go when others asked me, inside I was scared, nervous it was going to be me all by myself without my mom(a first). I had many sleepless nights, praying asking God, if this is where he wanted me to go then make it possible, let me be able to bring hope to ONE child. If you know me then you know how much I love children. While we were getting our materials ready for VBS in one of our monthly meetings, I was beginning to get overjoyed with playing and loving on children who I didn't even know. I imagined the kids playing with the stickers we were collecting, the markers and colors we were separating, I knew at that moment I was going to where God exactly wanted me. The night before we left I couldn't sleep, who did? You see it was my first time flying on a plane( I even got the first time flyer wings from the stewardess to prove it. ) Once we got there we had lunch, we went to are hotel; it was one of the most beautiful places I have ever slept in while on a trip. On Sunday we had church, it's funny how God has the right message at the right time. The message of the sermon is how we need to be imitators of God, we need to open our hearts and love him just like he does for us. That Sunday we started VBS at the CTC Center. We had a line waiting by the door when we got there, we were sort of celebrities coming out of the bus and the kids cheering. Monday is when we were to start going to the Orphanage. I have been to one before but nothing was going to prepare me for what I was going to see these coming days. I remembered out Mission Leader telling us it's going to be hard seeing the conditions these kids live in, they will fight to get a hug to get your attention give them all the love you can but do not promise them anything. I was up for that challenge, it was going to be easy. Boy, was I wrong, on the way there you saw the difference from where we were staying to where we were going. Economical statues was very visible on the streets. Once I stepped on the orphanage ground thoughts completely changed, I believed for everyone who went. Speaking for myself, my problems and concerns were a tiny needled hole compare to what was of theirs. The orphanage is were I met my friend (due to safety reasons, I cannot disclose names, I will address her as M) M has down syndrome she was clearly not older than 8 years old, She stole my heart from the moment I saw her. We ran, blew bubbles, colored and ran some more. You see M had a tough girl rep to protect she had DS but was not going to let that stop her, She didn't let NO ONE and when I mean NO ONE, not even us tell her what to do. When we did try to convince her to try it a different way we simply got a NO and a not so friendly gesture :) Everyone on our trip knew M, maybe because of her not so friendly gesture and tough girl way of being, but I love her for simply being her, she knows no other way of being but only that of what she needs to survive in her world of tough kids. Wednesday and Thursday M had classes and would leave early, I would wait with her until her ride got there,she would make it all the way to the gate and looked back and wave with a smile on her face. It was different playing with other kids but I managed to become friendly and play with others. I even got to be on swing duty, let me tell you swinging three kids at a time is not easy. Thursday was our last day there, we had are 101 on leaving the orphanage the previous night we really didn't know what to expect that day. While waiting for M's ride to come I had no courage to say goodbye I gradually just waved my hand bye and told her good luck in life (what a sappy goodbye uh?) Until one of the ladies that was on the trip with me told me: Ashley you need to say bye to her so that your heart is content because you will regret it. I didn't want to cry in front of anybody I thought I had cried enough the night before in my hotel room while I was in there by myself, but I was wrong I kneeled down and completely lost it, I wanted to save this girl from the world she was leaving in and promise her a great future and that I was going to see her next year but that when that voice came in my head DO NOT MAKE ANY PROMISES! I cried holding knowing that no one was there to do it or even tell her that they loved her. As I was wiping the tears away I saw one for the caregivers say look shes crying too, I have never seen her do that.Her grip became a little tighter. It was finally time let her go with a simple Jesus and I love you very much. I finally realized my prayer was answered she was the one little person I hoped to touch. After many sad good byes that day my simple prayer is that God's will be done for those children and I special prayer for M and L ( another girl who touched me.) At the CTC I met even eager faces everyday, there seemed to be one person who always seem to look for me everytime the doors would open, it felt great knowing a child wanted a: How was your day today , what do you want to play (I think I became a pro at las tochadas). The children eagerness to learn and to be loved on was DIFFERENT from the kids back home. A sticker meant so much to them and lets not talk about verbal praise when they were able to say the bible verse in english, they all went crazy when they got the chance to say what they learned just to get a high five. I said goodbye to Tono, it was much more easie saying bye to him knowing that he had a parent to go home to. On Friday we went to the beach it was beautiful, lovely, I was in awe of the wonderful creation that God made. I even got on the banana boat and literally turned over in the middle of the ocean (another first). It was great being able to relax and have fun with NEW friends, yes I said new friends, somewhere along the way I came out of my comfort zone and realize that you must be able to let it all go in order for this trip to be fun. During our first night of debriefing one of group members said we need to become visible to those who are invisible, those words have stuck with me even to these days, imagine if I was stuck in my shell I wouldn't had the time of my life. This trip wouldn't have made the impact it did, the people I met and now consider friends would still be strangers. I wanted to change the world with what I had to offer it. I wanted to help the helpless, love the unloved just as Jesus did. I wanted to touch and impact a life .(another first) :) I even got to meet some of the Honduras soccer team at the airport back, it was exciting to see the girls faces when we convinced them to take a picture with them. Now looking back I should of joined them. :)
Blessings-
XO Ash
When I first was asked to go to San Pedro Sula, Honduras I was full forced ready and excited to go. I had been on many mission trips, but never an international trip, one where you actually had to ride on an airplane. This trip came with many firsts. As we planned and began talking about what we were going to do there, I began to get nervous. I was the only person from my church going, I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me. I am very quiet but observant person, if I do not know you. Every time we would go to our monthly trip meeting they all seemed nice but still I didn't know them I was going to spend a week with complete strangers in a strange foreign land, what was I getting myself into. I quickly let my negative thoughts take over, "you are not going to have fun, you're going to be alone the whole time, just stay home". Although, I seemed so excited to go when others asked me, inside I was scared, nervous it was going to be me all by myself without my mom(a first). I had many sleepless nights, praying asking God, if this is where he wanted me to go then make it possible, let me be able to bring hope to ONE child. If you know me then you know how much I love children. While we were getting our materials ready for VBS in one of our monthly meetings, I was beginning to get overjoyed with playing and loving on children who I didn't even know. I imagined the kids playing with the stickers we were collecting, the markers and colors we were separating, I knew at that moment I was going to where God exactly wanted me. The night before we left I couldn't sleep, who did? You see it was my first time flying on a plane( I even got the first time flyer wings from the stewardess to prove it. ) Once we got there we had lunch, we went to are hotel; it was one of the most beautiful places I have ever slept in while on a trip. On Sunday we had church, it's funny how God has the right message at the right time. The message of the sermon is how we need to be imitators of God, we need to open our hearts and love him just like he does for us. That Sunday we started VBS at the CTC Center. We had a line waiting by the door when we got there, we were sort of celebrities coming out of the bus and the kids cheering. Monday is when we were to start going to the Orphanage. I have been to one before but nothing was going to prepare me for what I was going to see these coming days. I remembered out Mission Leader telling us it's going to be hard seeing the conditions these kids live in, they will fight to get a hug to get your attention give them all the love you can but do not promise them anything. I was up for that challenge, it was going to be easy. Boy, was I wrong, on the way there you saw the difference from where we were staying to where we were going. Economical statues was very visible on the streets. Once I stepped on the orphanage ground thoughts completely changed, I believed for everyone who went. Speaking for myself, my problems and concerns were a tiny needled hole compare to what was of theirs. The orphanage is were I met my friend (due to safety reasons, I cannot disclose names, I will address her as M) M has down syndrome she was clearly not older than 8 years old, She stole my heart from the moment I saw her. We ran, blew bubbles, colored and ran some more. You see M had a tough girl rep to protect she had DS but was not going to let that stop her, She didn't let NO ONE and when I mean NO ONE, not even us tell her what to do. When we did try to convince her to try it a different way we simply got a NO and a not so friendly gesture :) Everyone on our trip knew M, maybe because of her not so friendly gesture and tough girl way of being, but I love her for simply being her, she knows no other way of being but only that of what she needs to survive in her world of tough kids. Wednesday and Thursday M had classes and would leave early, I would wait with her until her ride got there,she would make it all the way to the gate and looked back and wave with a smile on her face. It was different playing with other kids but I managed to become friendly and play with others. I even got to be on swing duty, let me tell you swinging three kids at a time is not easy. Thursday was our last day there, we had are 101 on leaving the orphanage the previous night we really didn't know what to expect that day. While waiting for M's ride to come I had no courage to say goodbye I gradually just waved my hand bye and told her good luck in life (what a sappy goodbye uh?) Until one of the ladies that was on the trip with me told me: Ashley you need to say bye to her so that your heart is content because you will regret it. I didn't want to cry in front of anybody I thought I had cried enough the night before in my hotel room while I was in there by myself, but I was wrong I kneeled down and completely lost it, I wanted to save this girl from the world she was leaving in and promise her a great future and that I was going to see her next year but that when that voice came in my head DO NOT MAKE ANY PROMISES! I cried holding knowing that no one was there to do it or even tell her that they loved her. As I was wiping the tears away I saw one for the caregivers say look shes crying too, I have never seen her do that.Her grip became a little tighter. It was finally time let her go with a simple Jesus and I love you very much. I finally realized my prayer was answered she was the one little person I hoped to touch. After many sad good byes that day my simple prayer is that God's will be done for those children and I special prayer for M and L ( another girl who touched me.) At the CTC I met even eager faces everyday, there seemed to be one person who always seem to look for me everytime the doors would open, it felt great knowing a child wanted a: How was your day today , what do you want to play (I think I became a pro at las tochadas). The children eagerness to learn and to be loved on was DIFFERENT from the kids back home. A sticker meant so much to them and lets not talk about verbal praise when they were able to say the bible verse in english, they all went crazy when they got the chance to say what they learned just to get a high five. I said goodbye to Tono, it was much more easie saying bye to him knowing that he had a parent to go home to. On Friday we went to the beach it was beautiful, lovely, I was in awe of the wonderful creation that God made. I even got on the banana boat and literally turned over in the middle of the ocean (another first). It was great being able to relax and have fun with NEW friends, yes I said new friends, somewhere along the way I came out of my comfort zone and realize that you must be able to let it all go in order for this trip to be fun. During our first night of debriefing one of group members said we need to become visible to those who are invisible, those words have stuck with me even to these days, imagine if I was stuck in my shell I wouldn't had the time of my life. This trip wouldn't have made the impact it did, the people I met and now consider friends would still be strangers. I wanted to change the world with what I had to offer it. I wanted to help the helpless, love the unloved just as Jesus did. I wanted to touch and impact a life .(another first) :) I even got to meet some of the Honduras soccer team at the airport back, it was exciting to see the girls faces when we convinced them to take a picture with them. Now looking back I should of joined them. :)
Blessings-
XO Ash
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