Hold on to that feelin'.......

Have you ever heard that one song that takes you back?

As I was cleaning house today I heard Simple Plan’s Welcome To My Life.  I love hearing old songs I used to love. They’re like memories you can always go back to.  The beautiful thing about it is, music can be like a time machine. One song, the lyrics, the melody, the mood - can take you back to a moment in time like nothing else can. Sometimes it’s not the song that makes you emotional, it’s the people and things that come to mind when you hear it. When you hear that old song it feels like you are getting back in touch with an old friend. Somebody you forget or someone you let go. As I was listening to the song I couldn’t imagine why my 16-year self was listening to it in the first place. Like I said before, all it takes is 1 song to bring back 1,000 memories. The memories came, oh, how they came back. I remember being a Junior in high and feeling like the ugly duckling, but I realize it was just a memory. A memory of what I was feeling at that moment. Sometime we can’t let go of memories, because they are constant reminders of a great story that we never want to end or in a way we do. I always knew looking in the future all the tears I shed would make me laugh and all the laughs would make me cry. At 16, I had nothing figured out, but I one thing I knew for certain or so I thought Welcome to My Life describe my life perfectly.  I have always, still am a people pleaser. I always wanted/want people to be happy because deep down I know how it feels not to be. I wanted to be the person everyone relies on and the person they come to when they need help or that little ray of sunshine. I love being the person people can come when they need advice or an ear to listen. I was that girl that hated when people saw me cry because I wanted to be the strong girl. At the same time, I hated hoe nobody noticed how torn apart and broken I was. As I sit here, I wanted to say to that girl, you should never find yourself victim of your own bitterness, smallness, insecurities because in the end you must be fearless for what you want in life. You fall, you rise. You make mistakes, you live, you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You’ve been hurt, but you are alive. Think of what a privilege it is to be alive-to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love. Trust God. Sometimes there is sadness in your journey, but there is also lots of beauty. For if we don’t we will never know what it waiting for us just around the bend.



Though I fall, I will rise again. Micah 7:8

XO
Ash

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